dear r : still 9.15.10

dear r:  still

all the fires have gone out.

we have since returned to

our opposite corners where

we have remained silent. and

still everything in life goes on.

newly wed to our distance the 

days still become the cold dark.

and in this nothing, everything

that was still exists. the coming

chill, the approaching change.

the fact that i still love you but

i do not trust you.

some one else, some place else,

some thing to ease this  cooling

ache. i wish i could ignore [  ],

forget about [  ], but i did like

the parts of [  ] that hurt and

astonished me. a little.

i don’t know what i expected on

that first day i saw you but you

were just unforgettable then and

that is precisely the problem now

that and the fact that i still love

you but i do not trust you.

perhaps i am drowning in the

still-ness of it all. doesn’t it feel

like a new year? a blank un-lined

page full of words that we do not

say.. like i am still here.

love,      JANEisnotplain  9.15.10