dear r : playing
are you finished playing games yet?
do you think you are the only one
who knows how or notices now
that players are shifting places?
perhaps i orchestrated this
entire scene you’re living in
and you only think you are
in control.
maybe your game is a
subset of mine and only
i have the secret code.
but you may never know
because you are too busy
playing.
happy april fool's day...
JANEisnotplain 3.31.09
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
3.10.09 dear r: the letter i am not sending
3.10.09 dear r: the letter i am not sending
dear r:
the letter i am not sending you is very angry. / the letter i am not sending you is full of salty tears.
the letter i am not sending you wants answers. /answers you cannot give me because / you yourself do not know.
the letter i am not sending you calls you a liar. / who is apparently living her own reality.
the letter i am not sending is to tell you / how stupid and how violated i feel. / that i let you. / and that you did.
the letter i am not sending you wants to / thank you for that parting gift. / thank you for not owning up to your dirty sex.
the letter i am not sending you wants you to feel / as badly as i did. / wants you to feel this loneliness. / wants you to feel this worthless and / this unattractive.
the letter i am not sending you is to tell you that / you took all but the best part of me. /
this letter i am not sending you is to remind you that even after all that manipulation you /still never could finger that best part / to mark it with your rotten claws .
the letter i am not sending you is to tell you that/ you dug to the bottom of me / to still find water. / my ocean.
the letter i am not sending you is to tell you that / the best part of me still wells love.
the letter i am not sending you is purposeful./ because my silence is the most / loving gesture i can offer you. / now.
the letter i am not sending you is exactly what / you never gave. / me. / to not tell you. / you’re soulless. / to not tell you.
using. / user. / used up. / use up someone else. / not me.
the letter i am not sending you is this one.
love,
JANEisnotplain 3.10.09
dear r:
the letter i am not sending you is very angry. / the letter i am not sending you is full of salty tears.
the letter i am not sending you wants answers. /answers you cannot give me because / you yourself do not know.
the letter i am not sending you calls you a liar. / who is apparently living her own reality.
the letter i am not sending is to tell you / how stupid and how violated i feel. / that i let you. / and that you did.
the letter i am not sending you wants to / thank you for that parting gift. / thank you for not owning up to your dirty sex.
the letter i am not sending you wants you to feel / as badly as i did. / wants you to feel this loneliness. / wants you to feel this worthless and / this unattractive.
the letter i am not sending you is to tell you that / you took all but the best part of me. /
this letter i am not sending you is to remind you that even after all that manipulation you /still never could finger that best part / to mark it with your rotten claws .
the letter i am not sending you is to tell you that/ you dug to the bottom of me / to still find water. / my ocean.
the letter i am not sending you is to tell you that / the best part of me still wells love.
the letter i am not sending you is purposeful./ because my silence is the most / loving gesture i can offer you. / now.
the letter i am not sending you is exactly what / you never gave. / me. / to not tell you. / you’re soulless. / to not tell you.
using. / user. / used up. / use up someone else. / not me.
the letter i am not sending you is this one.
love,
JANEisnotplain 3.10.09
Monday, March 9, 2009
dear r: happy anniversary (#5)
happy anniversary (#5)
dear r :
i ate your poisonous li[n]es like
candies that fell from your
preciousness and mouth and
i leapt from my tresses but now
i am drawn and quartered on your page
you cut me into pieces with your tongue
until my lips, my breasts, my hips,
the very dip of my wonton hollows
are splayed and interpreted by you
breaking my ribs and reaching in,
to hold up my heart in one hand and
love in the other, eating them hungrily
oblivious to the blood between your fingers
have you no shame?
well, i have washed your scent
and now i am cleansed
your color is washed from
my trembling creek
leaving only stains on
the walls of my memory
happy anniversary, love
JANEisnotplain 3.8.09
dear r :
i ate your poisonous li[n]es like
candies that fell from your
preciousness and mouth and
i leapt from my tresses but now
i am drawn and quartered on your page
you cut me into pieces with your tongue
until my lips, my breasts, my hips,
the very dip of my wonton hollows
are splayed and interpreted by you
breaking my ribs and reaching in,
to hold up my heart in one hand and
love in the other, eating them hungrily
oblivious to the blood between your fingers
have you no shame?
well, i have washed your scent
and now i am cleansed
your color is washed from
my trembling creek
leaving only stains on
the walls of my memory
happy anniversary, love
JANEisnotplain 3.8.09
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