3.10.09 dear r: the letter i am not sending
dear r:
the letter i am not sending you is very angry. / the letter i am not sending you is full of salty tears.
the letter i am not sending you wants answers. /answers you cannot give me because / you yourself do not know.
the letter i am not sending you calls you a liar. / who is apparently living her own reality.
the letter i am not sending is to tell you / how stupid and how violated i feel. / that i let you. / and that you did.
the letter i am not sending you wants to / thank you for that parting gift. / thank you for not owning up to your dirty sex.
the letter i am not sending you wants you to feel / as badly as i did. / wants you to feel this loneliness. / wants you to feel this worthless and / this unattractive.
the letter i am not sending you is to tell you that / you took all but the best part of me. /
this letter i am not sending you is to remind you that even after all that manipulation you /still never could finger that best part / to mark it with your rotten claws .
the letter i am not sending you is to tell you that/ you dug to the bottom of me / to still find water. / my ocean.
the letter i am not sending you is to tell you that / the best part of me still wells love.
the letter i am not sending you is purposeful./ because my silence is the most / loving gesture i can offer you. / now.
the letter i am not sending you is exactly what / you never gave. / me. / to not tell you. / you’re soulless. / to not tell you.
using. / user. / used up. / use up someone else. / not me.
the letter i am not sending you is this one.
love,
JANEisnotplain 3.10.09
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