dear r: just a phase

dear r: just a phase


dear r:

do you want to know
what it was like when i left you?

at first it was way too quiet and
i did nothing but read and write
and i spent most of my time
falling down stairs of words
but this was just a phase

there was mourning, there was grief
there was pain and i told the moon
or whomever would listen to just
leave me alone but
this was just a phase

do you want me to say i was
bleeding on the bathroom floor?
do you want me to say i was
holes and dents in furniture?
do you want me to say i was
just evaporating ?

i am not where i belong but
i will get over this wreckage
its just a phase


JANEisnotplain 2.09

2.24.09

2.24.09

dear r:


so far life has just meant that
if i am cut i will be healed and
it will happen a thousand times

but with you it has been
vodka mixed with punch
my lips on the rim taking
slow sips with salt licks
because i trusted you and

that will only happen once


copyright JANEisnotplain 2.09

dear r,

i was too deep; stuck upside down
inside this wound rooted to earth
by your stubborn eyes pulling me
away like a silly dream.

i hung from your manipulative fingertips
my arms over stretching
no grip.
slide.
erased.

it’s not that i don’t miss
your eyes your face your voice
its the fact that i no longer want
to feel their stained residue
on my clean skin

but every time i start to heal i/you
pick at the scab. i bleed. i dig
deeper. my fingers weep over
hands misplaced around my
heart

wouldn’t that be ironic if i
choked on a full heart that
refused to be broken?

JANEisnotplain 2.09

STAIN

stain

you never think of
the fruit of a rose
the flower is too dark
and wonderful and you
forget its only a prelude.

rose hips stain the snow
now,like blood splatter and
you should be warned that
her kiss will leave toxins
soaking in your skin.


JANEisnotplain 2.09